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Proud single mom of one beautiful daughter who shares my love of sports and music. She doesn't share my love of the outdoors which I find weird. I love photography and wish I had a better camera!! Maybe someday...

Monday, December 10, 2018

Mental Wellness. Self-care. Mourning. Yep, I'm going thru It. Plus Autumn Photos in SW Oregon!!

Wow, it's been quite a year.  Some ups.  Some downs.  
Mostly downs... 

And now, I'm mourning the death of my mother after a really tumultuous year for her where her health and care (by her former caregivers) took an extremely sharp and - well, horrible, frankly - downward turn.  

And now, while still  mourning her death at the end of September and the events leading up to it, I have to face the loss of one of my beloved fur babies, Ellie.



I won't go into many details, but tomorrow my baby boy will cross the Rainbow Bridge and go to be with my mom, et al. He's very sick and in a lot of pain.  This all became noticeable and diagnosed within the last week, but unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done for him and, although we want him to stay with us, it's not fair to him to suffer. 

It's really hard because both my daughter and myself are in pretty fragile places with a lot of extraneous stress and anxiety (mostly from our jobs) in addition to grieving.  But with a lot of faith and prayer, we will both get through it.

And self-care, which is a "buzzword" that I've seen many people dismiss, is actually so important for people who have illnesses such as depression and anxiety.  

To me, it means to find something or things that soothe you in a positive way.  Things that take your mind off of the anxiety.  Things that hopefully get you to focus on getting out of bed, out of your home, out of your head!

My best self-care options are music (positive music such as BTS!), photography (preferably nature and/or animals since they aren't as demanding as models haha), reading, watching tv/movies (again, of the upbeat variety), and playing games on my Kindle. 

Also, what always takes my mind off of everything and calms and restores my soul and mind?  A good road trip with a camera in hand. 

The weekend after my mom passed away, I jumped on the opportunity to drive some crucial, time-sensitive documents to my big brother Robert in Washington.  I actually did a slam bam trip with minimal stops and minimal time spent up there with the fam.  But I did make two stops on the way up.  

The first one was to stretch my legs at the Grave Creek Bridge.  I've stopped here once before, back in February 2015.  I have to say, the photos I got this time are MUCH better!  lol Although there are some different views and very cute graffiti in the last post. 


This time I noticed that several of the buildings just before the bridge were in very dilapidated state and appeared to be abandoned.  So of course I had to walk around and check them out, although I didn't go inside. 


The rainy, misty morning made for some awesome smokey mountains!


And this time I tried to get some cool angles of the bridge and really focus on artistic (to me, anyway) shots.  I'm super pleased with how they came out. 


Some more potentially-abandoned buildings with an awesomely "smokey" hill in the background. 


I was so happy to see there was some fall color amidst all of the greens and browns. 

  
After this brief stop, I continued on to my favorite rest stop in southern Oregon, Seven Feathers Truck and Rest Stop which is about 33 miles north of the covered bridge.  There is also a Casino, and when I got there, I realized I had hit the Autumn Foliage Photography Jackpot!


Trees and leaves of many different colors!



Along with some rain-soaked pink and purple flowers in their cozy beds. 





Raindrops, Autumn leaves, and bokeh!  Oh this amateur photographer is a happy, happy lady!


And mushrooms!  I love mushrooms.


Southwestern Oregon Autumn Forest


I love photos that look abstract.  I try to get one little part in focus.  My 50mm prime lens is so good at this!  


Add in bokeh and I'm about to faint. 



These two pictures are very similar but I just cannot choose which one I love the best.
They're both my babies.


Trees lining the road in various stage of changing colors.  I really don't know if Seven Feathers planted a bunch of trees that are not usually found in Southwester Oregon forests, but I don't really care either.  haha They are beautiful!



I don't know what these two skinny trees are.  It's hard to see but they were very red with whitish trunks.  



Because most forests in the Pacific Northwest are pine forests (I think, anyway, don't @ me), of course there are a lot of pines in the area too!  And with the recent rain, it was straight out of a shimmery fairy tale.




Some trees were almost past "peak" color with brownish leaves, but even these trees were a gorgeous sight to see, especially when they had some red leaves hanging in there. 


Set against the backdrop of green pines, and with random water drops forming bokeh (and focal points), these trees were so dramatic and I was in love. 


And then there were the pines themselves.  Looking like shimmery dreams with their needles draped in drops of rainwater. 

macro concept black and white bokeh filled art i am so enchanted i forgot how to use punctuation


A red leaf on pins and needles. 


So many different shades of green!


Don't break my heart and tell me this is not stunning.   I wouldn't believe you anyway.


"We should not judge...by the peak of excellence, but by the distance...traveled from the point...started."  ~~ Henry Ward Beecher 


And then you have some bushes that were mostly green with the occasional leave cluster that had turned yellow and red.  


Pinkberries!  No, not the yogurt shop, but these out of this world pink berries (or seeds but that doesn't sound as cute)!



With the peach leaves and bokeh, I am now over the moon.  

And just like that, seeing all of this beauty that God has provided for us...  
Feeling the rain on my skin, smelling the crisp, clean air...  

I am rejuvenated and more at peace.  
My soul is lighter and my faith is restored.  

Imagine that this world is so beautiful!  
What must Heaven be like?  

What green pastures and spacious mansions have been prepared for us and our loved ones - human and fur-baby alike?   

How can I be sad for them who have left or are leaving me when I know that what waits is more beautiful and peace filled than anything I can imagine?  

Where love and healing are all that surround and bodies are no longer frail and filled with pain and minds no longer know sadness and fear?

Call it a fantasy and I don't hear.
Tell me I'm wrong and I don't care. 
Say that I'm weak...that I cleave to a dream.

I'll smile.
And thank Heaven for dreams.

xoxo
Nikon D600